Congrats to my beautiful cousin Jami and her husband Tony! Very glad to be at the wedding. Place was amazing and the food was ridiculously delicious. Don’t know how I didn’t have to loosen my pants before I left. Cocktail hour was off the charts good. Glad to see Jami happy. Now everyone in the family is looking at me next. Got some big shoes to fill after what they pulled off at this wedding. New car for the bride shown via live webcam during the dinner, groom got a diamond rolex, live bands, 5000lbs of food, etc, etc. Clean up good though, don’t I? Think the purple shirt works for me.
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